When Will Bullies Get The Message? – by Anti-Bullying Coach, Self Esteem for Young People Coach, Award Winning Poet and YouAreYOU Holistic Coaching and Training Services Founder Patricia Foster

Photo: Patricia Foster
Photo: Patricia Foster
As individuals, we are ALL created uniquely beautiful. Some of us have gentle dispositions and are therefore misunderstood. Some of us are extremely sensitively wired and are therefore misunderstood. Some of us will NEVER fit into the mould of acceptable looks, or acceptable past times. It’s about having patience with and being accepting of others, instead of demonising them…because they are not like you!

“Speaking out against harsh, critical words may be a huge challenge.”

Some of us have not developed the communication tools to express our thoughts or feelings, so may have difficulty in responding to harsh words or criticism, or are unable to articulate the inner pain connected to these harsh words. Speaking out against harsh, critical words may be a huge challenge.

Some of us may feel unsupported, because we are unable to find the right person to express our innermost thoughts and feelings to, without the fear of our expressed feelings being thrown back in our faces.

There is a saying “hurt people hurt people”. Research has shown that those who are unhappy within, or are in pain themselves, may sometimes lash out or bully others, therefore hurting their intended target too.

I performed poetry at a recent ‘Loose Muse’ women’s writing event and a courageous young lady shared her own, deeply personal experiences of being bullied and subsequently wanting to take her own life. She mentioned also that in the area of south London where she resides, suicides among teenagers, in particular GCSE and A Level students were at a ridiculously high number. This was not just due to the pressures of life, but also about how some are made to feel by harsh comments and treatments by others.

I recently read a Facebook post, which outlined the final Tweet posted by a young man, tormented over the years about his sexuality. He was commonly referred to as “a loser, freak and fag” and used this to describe himself in his last Twitter message. He felt he had done the world an injustice and therefore took his own life.

Without the right support and understanding from others, when will people cease to remove their inner pain, torment and feelings of being misunderstood by taking their own lives?

Some of us will never be accepted, because we are moulded and act differently.

How can those of us who are emotionally stronger step in to help prevent bullying and help support and encourage those who are being bullied or misunderstood?

In my coaching, workshops, talks, as well as through my writing, I have focussed on this, as I have also been bullied and victimised by others. I therefore choose to use my art and holistic and well-being tools to help stand up to this. Writing and coaching can be useful ways to express pain, as well as feel accepted and valued within.

© Patricia Foster,
Award Winning Poet, Sable Litmag Poet-in-Residence 2014-2015, Qualified Life Coach (Dip NMC), Motivational Speaker and YouAreYOU founder.

Contact us if You have been affected by Bullying on:
Telephone +44(0)7956 476 547
Email youareyou.co@gmail.com


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2 comments

  1. Good morning! I saw your post on Deji Sobanjo’s FB page. I’m interested in your work as I have written a book about bullying and I’m now setting myself up to work with many people around this issue. I look forward to hearing from you.

    Like

    • Good Morning Uche! Thank you for your supportive comment. Thanks also for taking the time to connect with me.

      Congratulations on writing your book. Thank you for sharing your wonderful article ‘Do you over-compensate for being tall?’
      http://www.uchennoka.com/blog/do-you-over-compensate-for-being-tall/ (I will leave a comment there also)

      I deliver self esteem and anti-bullying workshops mainly for girls and young people on a freelance basis. I have done so in youth and community groups, schools and in Jamaica.

      I am also interested to know more about the work you will do around the issues of bullying. It would be wonderful to collaborate.

      I can be emailed further on this on youareyou.co@gmail.com

      Have a blessed day,
      Patricia Foster

      Like

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