As individuals, we are ALL created uniquely beautiful. Some of us have gentle dispositions and are therefore misunderstood. Some of us are extremely sensitively wired and are therefore misunderstood. Some of us will NEVER fit into the mould of acceptable looks, or acceptable past times. It’s about having patience with and being accepting of others, instead of demonising them…because they are not like you!
“Speaking out against harsh, critical words may be a huge challenge.”
Some of us have not developed the communication tools to express our thoughts or feelings, so may have difficulty in responding to harsh words or criticism, or are unable to articulate the inner pain connected to these harsh words. Speaking out against harsh, critical words may be a huge challenge.
Some of us may feel unsupported, because we are unable to find the right person to express our innermost thoughts and feelings to, without the fear of our expressed feelings being thrown back in our faces.
There is a saying “hurt people hurt people”. Research has shown that those who are unhappy within, or are in pain themselves, may sometimes lash out or bully others, therefore hurting their intended target too.
I performed poetry at a recent ‘Loose Muse’ women’s writing event and a courageous young lady shared her own, deeply personal experiences of being bullied and subsequently wanting to take her own life. She mentioned also that in the area of south London where she resides, suicides among teenagers, in particular GCSE and A Level students were at a ridiculously high number. This was not just due to the pressures of life, but also about how some are made to feel by harsh comments and treatments by others.
I recently read a Facebook post, which outlined the final Tweet posted by a young man, tormented over the years about his sexuality. He was commonly referred to as “a loser, freak and fag” and used this to describe himself in his last Twitter message. He felt he had done the world an injustice and therefore took his own life.
Without the right support and understanding from others, when will people cease to remove their inner pain, torment and feelings of being misunderstood by taking their own lives?
Some of us will never be accepted, because we are moulded and act differently.
How can those of us who are emotionally stronger step in to help prevent bullying and help support and encourage those who are being bullied or misunderstood?
In my coaching, workshops, talks, as well as through my writing, I have focussed on this, as I have also been bullied and victimised by others. I therefore choose to use my art and holistic and well-being tools to help stand up to this. Writing and coaching can be useful ways to express pain, as well as feel accepted and valued within.
‘Sensitivity and the Artist: The Link Between Sensitive Personalities and Creativity’.
By YouAreYOU Founder, Life Coach and Award-Winning Writer Patricia Foste McKenley
Being a sensitive adult can be perceived as either a curse or blessing. Many sensitive adults, who may deem this a curse, can probably list a range of unwanted or difficult circumstances such as:
• Being highly affected by harsh and nasty comments
• Taking on board and feeling deeply saddened by others’ misfortune
• Being affected by criticism and judgment from others
• Always wanting to avoid confrontation or uncomfortable conversations
• Bearing childhood traumas that trigger off reactions to relatively similar adult situations
• Excruciating shyness
• Being labelled too shy, too sensitive or a walkover by others
• Becoming stressed easily
• Experiencing low self-esteem
• High bouts of depression
However, many sensitive adults may regard their high sensitivity a blessing and look at the advantages such as:
• Being a good listener
• Possessing empathy
• Being excellent authors and poets
• Having the ability to express themselves as artists
• Being highly intuitive and spiritual
• Having high levels of patience
I have witnessed highly sensitive individuals who champion the causes of other people, encouraging them to utilise their gifts. However, when it comes to expressing their own gifts, or operating from their higher selves or to their highest potential, they almost enter the realms of martyrdom, where it is virtually difficult for them to speak up or express their true selves.
Research has shown that many highly sensitive adults end up working as counsellors, teachers, artists, poets, writers, authors, social workers, healers, natural health practitioners and within other caring professions.
“one in every five people is born with a heightened sensitivity”
According to Elaine N. Aron Ph.D., the author of ‘The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You’, the world can be an extremely, overwhelming and unassuming place to sensitive people in general and certain situations and environments are too overly stimulating. She also acknowledges that “one in every five people is born with a heightened sensitivity” and gifted with “intelligence and imagination”.
I speak as a sensitive adult myself, who has experienced or displayed many of the above traits. Reading Elaine’s book about The Highly Sensitive Person (HSPs) was a welcome breath of fresh air; it made me realise there was nothing wrong with me and indeed others I know who bear similar traits. Due to the, at times, overwhelming and difficult circumstances in my life, I have had to identify the personality traits that I have and go through a stage of healing and being kind to myself. This ‘self identification’ and healing process allowed me to develop the skills and empathy to understand, listen and heal others (especially those who are sensitive) through coaching, teaching, training, art, film making, poetry and Reiki.
Over the years, I focused on ways to harness my sensitive nature and also balance this with being grounded and looking after my physical and emotional health.
I discovered that my emotional health was impacted by consuming certain foods that created imbalance (such as meat and alcohol). Through following a vegan and raw vegan diet and being teetotal, this has prevented me from becoming too overwhelmed and over stimulated by the world. Being highly sensitive is a personality trait I feel blessed to have and with this, I endeavour to make this world a better place to exist in. However, this is not to say that non-sensitive personalities are insensitive, impatient or possess little or no creative skills. This is to highlight that sensitive people are ‘wired’ uniquely and therefore respond to external stimuli in a unique way.
YouAreYOU works confidentially with sensitive children, sensitive adults, EBD young people, adults and young people on the autistic spectrum, artists, creative practitioners, writers, alternative health practitioners and those in caring professions. With over twenty years of successful results and outstanding achievements from clients, YouAreYOUhas an in depth understanding and knowledge of sensitive individuals and their gifts, which in many cases are yet to be unleashed and are often unharnessed. We at YouAreYOU therefore serve to provide an unprecedented and unique supportive service for unique individuals, through coaching, training, art, writing, digital media activities, healthy eating tips, healing and workshops.
If you are an individual, group or are hosting an event, contact Patricia of YouAreYOU for further info, help and support at: email@example.com +44(0)7956 476 547
Patricia Foster is a Qualified Life Coach, an Award-Winning Writer, Internationally PublishedPoet, Performer, Certified Reiki Healer, Wellbeing Advisor, Vegan and lover of Raw Food.
She is also CRB checked, a Visual and Multimedia Artist (BA Hons), Broadcaster, as well as a Certified Tutor/Trainer & Facilitator, Dynamic Educator and Creative Consultant with over twenty years of outstanding results and learning outcomes.
As a writer, she has worked for the BBC and has toured the UK, Europe and the USA.